Holy crap, we're hippies.

Not only is Chloe breastfed but she's a cloth diaper baby too. We chose to do cloth diapers to save some moola and its good for the environment...but mostly to save money. Who knew that we(probably mostly me) would actually enjoy CD and its easy too!

Thank the heavens above for our portable washing machine(courtesy of Olivia and Tarrance) and our awesome spin cycle(courtesy of Heather and Chuck)!!! Without these contraptions, I would have given up on CD a long time ago. Walking up and down three flights of stairs to spend $3 on a load of laundry would have gotten tiring and expensive very fast.

We have solely done cloth diapers for about two weeks now since our free disposable diapers ran out. They look super cute too! My mom bought us the gdiaper newborn/small starter kit and they are super easy to use. We've even started to make the cloth inserts too. And to make us(mostly me) sound even more lame, I made my own baby wipes as well.

Man, we are hippies!

Conscious Conception

I haven't told a lot of people about this but I'm pretty sure I saw Chloe's soul the night she was conceived.
It's sort of weird telling the story because we're talking about the conception of a baby here and we all know what that involves...but after all that, I was trying to fall asleep and I saw a bright light in the shape of a ball come down from the ceiling of our bedroom and descend toward Ali's stomach. I was sort of scared and I thought to myself, "well, I'm pretty sure I just made a baby."
About two weeks later Ali told me she was pregnant.
I'm not sure if the day I saw the ball of light really was the actual day Chloe was conceived...but I do know that I have one hell of a pretty baby now. That's for sure.

Nom, nom, nom...

Chloe went a little overboard this thanksgiving. There is no fat face filter on this pic. She really is getting chubby!

Boob food

I knew I wanted to breastfeed. I knew it can be difficult and painful but I didn't realize how much until I was in the midst of doing it.

I was lucky that I got to breastfeed Chloe a couple times within the first hour she was born. I was also lucky that she latched on so easily too. However, I soon learned how painful breastfeeding can be.

It was painful because I wasn't used to it but I also think with her being so tiny had something to do with it too. I don't think she could completely latch properly because of her small mouth and my ginormous you know whats. It took about two and a half weeks until breastfeeding felt normal but latching wasn't my only issue.

Cluster feeding is a term that will always be burned deeply into my brain. I had never heard of such a thing until I lived through it. Not only is it painful when you first start out breastfeeding but also mentally trying.

I had a few breakdowns. She was only cluster feeding between the hours of 1-6am and it was constant. To the point were she would only unlatch for 5-10 minutes between feedings, so basically I was nonstop nursing her for hours on end. How the heck could such a small being consume so much?

It's been over a month now and I'm happy I never gave up. I never really thought about giving up either. Sure, it's not easy still because when I'm not in the comfort of my own home, I have to sneak away and feed her...a lot usually. I'm not comfortable enough yet to breastfeed in front of people. Who knows, maybe one day I will be.

What I do know is that I get to enjoy the look on her face when her belly is full of the milk I have provided for her!

What's in a name?

About an hour after our little girl was born we finally tried to name her but we had some difficulties.  Weeks or months before we decided between Chloe, Lucy and Charlotte.  Charlotte was becoming too popular so we ditched that one right off the bat.  So, it was down to the other two but which one would it be?  I thought I would know what I wanted to name her as soon as I saw her but I had no clue.  I was actually more confused than ever.  Patrick turned to me and asked if he should flip a coin.  Sounded good to me.  Heads was Chloe.  Tails was Lucy.  Patrick flipped the coin...tails.  Best two out of three he said.  He flipped again.  Tails.  Flipped one last time.  Tails again.  That should have been it.  She should have been named Lucy.  However, we looked at each other and knew we wanted her to be named Chloe and Chloe it is!  Chloe Jane Fee.

Old photos

I can't believe how tiny she used to be.

Chloe and daddy time

I love my dada! One of my favorite things to do is spend time with daddy. He makes me feel safe. I can tell that he loves me a lot too.

Cute faces

I'm full of them!

Chloe's Birthday

10.15.2012
I had both of my doctors appointments that morning.  First was the NST(Non Stress Test) and the second was my normal weekly check-up.  During the NST, they realized my fluid was pretty low and wanted to admit me but waited to see what my doctor had to say at my regular check-up.  Of course my doctor wanted me admitted.  So, off to Labor and Delivery I went.  

I was already contracting every 2-4 minutes and didn't even realize it.  I had a balloon inserted to help open/soften my cervix since I was only 1cm along.  They also started the pitocin.  I was nervous because I knew the painful contractions were coming.  They came.  Along with severe nausea.  The painful contractions made the nausea worse which in turn, made the contractions worse.  It was a dreadful cycle.  They gave me nausea medication but that made me dry heave.  I wimped out and had the epidural.  It all went away.  The pain, the nausea...all gone!  Finally, time to relax and get some rest...Psych!  

The nurse kept coming in because they couldn't find my contractions on the monitor.  They had to insert an internal monitor and poof, there were my contractions.  They also realized that every time I contracted, the little girls heartbeat would drop.  It meant the umbilical cord was wrapped around the baby somewhere.  Oh no!  They had me constantly repositioning myself but nothing really helped.  They ended up pumping fluid inside me to resemble amniotic fluid so every time I contracted the umbilical cord wouldn't constrict whatever it was wrapped around.  

At this point, we try to get some sleep.  I got a little until the pain started to come back and so did the nausea.  Bad, real bad.  They finally gave me a shot of something in my iv and I was all good again.  At this point they checked me and I was 8cm dilated and they could feel that the baby had hair!   I was told to get some more rest while I could.  I was also told that when i feel constant pressure that I needed to tell the doctor.  I felt pressure but not constant pressure.  Only pressure when I contracted.  The nurse checked me and was in complete shock.  "I see the head!" she said.  She opened the door and called down the hallway for help.  We were going to have our baby soon!  The doctors and nurses rushed in and got ready.  I was told to push.  I pushed for only a couple of minutes.  

Miss Chloe was brought into this world at 1:51am on Tuesday, October 16, 2012.  She weighed only 5 pounds 5 ounces and measured 19.5 inches long.  She sure was tiny.  They placed her instantly on my chest and I shed some tears, mostly in disbelief that she really did exist.  She was the one that hiccuped in my belly.  The one that moved around mostly for me and some for the lucky few who got to feel her kicks.  The one that made me have to pee constantly.  But most of all, the one that I fell in love with the instant I knew I was going to have her.  Miss Chloe Jane, you are my love, my life, my everything!  Welcome to the world!!!

Another day of sleeping, crying and eating...

So today, I slept a lot and ate a lot and cried for a little while.  I stared off into space.  I got the hiccups a couple of times and I even did a few of the most precious baby sneezes you've ever seen or heard.  Mommy put me on my belly for tummy time and I held my head up for a little while but then I got bored and cried.  I made sure to wake up from sleeping and cry for attention as soon as my mom and dad sat down to have some dinner.  I like to do that.  I think its pretty funny.